Fine dining is no joke. The little things matter in service and that’s the worst part. At this point of my life I don’t give a fuck about want to pursue fine dining and if I do, I want a very chill, moderately fun, controlled environment. Tonight was definitely the breaking point for what I want to do in my life and fine dining is no longer one of them. As I was beaten down and broken after my lunch shift of serving, God gave me a great experience and proved that I am good enough for things by rewarding me with $100 on a $240 bill. Thank you to the lovely couple that made me feel that I am good enough and thank you God for showing me I am worth it
My first relationship was a rough one. It dealt with a lot of fun, but also a lot of depressing sad stories. It’s not fair for me to have been in such of a relationship, but that’s okay. Life lessons. Live and learn I guess. People need to know that if you are ever treated disrespectfully within a relationship, then it is time to leave it. I did not listen to anyone that would tell me that my relationship was not good for me. I pushed everyone away and wasn’t even happy. I basically had no one because I thought I could handle it myself. Truth is I couldn’t. I was part of a verbally abusive relationship and am not afraid to admit it anymore. I was called bitch, slut, whore, cunt, chink, stupid, and any other name you could probably think of. It wasn’t because I actually cheated on him or messed around. It was all due to an ignorant man that I “fell in love” with.
I say that in quotes because at this point of my life I’m not even sure if that was love. No one should have to tell the one you love to stop calling you names over and over again. “I’m just messing around” is not a good enough excuse; I know that now.
I’m honestly not a difficult person to deal with. I just want to be treated with a little self decency. No one should stress themselves out before they see their loved one because they know all they want to do is sexual things. Sure, you’re in a relationship, but I don’t see why we can’t just watch a movie without the idea that I need to please you while doing it. What is wrong with today’s society? It’s like I would be more likely to do things if they didn’t ask so much… You know?
I’ve been slapped, “accidentally,” because he thought I was making fun of the way he said “gyro” but in all honesty I didn’t hear him the first time. That was in the beginning of the relationship. When he wouldn’t want me to leave he would grab my wrists. I had bruises from that because he was so much bigger than me. It was clear that someone grabbed me, but I didn’t think anything of it until the end of everything. I was talking about relationship abuse with a friend tonight and we both agreed relationship abuse is almost addicting to the victim because you fall for false promises. You think that they won’t do it again or change, but don’t fall for it. They won’t change for you. Move on.
To the people that read this, if any. Please remind yourself that you deserve to be treated like a fucking princess. I’m not the one to be spoiled and glamorous, but any boy that wants your attention needs to earn it with respect of your body and their own. Even the guys need to be treated with respect by their girl. No matter the type of abuse that there is, is too much abuse. no one deserves that. If they love you, they wouldn’t be doing that to you.
Today, Trenton and I biked around the island and hung out for awhile, 5 hours to be exact. It was really enjoyable. To catch up and share life stories since we have graduated. We recalled past memories that we had throughout DeWitt, and talked about future life opportunities. With him it was nice not having to share my life story, as he already knows it. Has God put him back into my life because at one point we let the opportunity pass, or is this more of a coincidence.
Our story begins in fourth grade. He was my first friend that I spent almost all my time with at lunches and recess. James Dell was the addition to the friendship. We were all inseparable from what I can remember. My fondest memory was when it was winter we would spend our recess in snow pants and boots out by the basketball court building a fort. Fifth grade we took on middle school as we were in the same class again. I remember at the end of the school year, I have a picture of him and Rachel Rick. I don’t think we actually got any pictures together throughout the friendship besides the one posted. Sixth grade rolls around and I remember his mom coming out from the school to tell me to return his highlighter/ marker because I wouldn’t when he asked.
Taking our friendship into Jr. High, I don’t remember any distinct memories as we started to run in separate groups starting here. Seventh grade was a blur. I believe we did actually hangout throughout seventh grade camp, this reminisces on the fact I use to pull all the thick hair from the top of my head and had a bald spot for awhile… But no one needs to distinctly remember that. Eighth grade was our last “close” year and I say that in quotes as at this point we had already started to drift, but I know near the Super Bowl we dated. When I say date I mean the typical call and text because that was a big thing in life back in the day.
High school was all a blur as we had parted from being close as we ran with different crowds. Playing different sports and having different teachers was the main reason as we did stay in touch here and there. I just want to thank God for giving me the opportunity to reconnect with someone that I didn’t think would have been such a big impact on my life. This opportunity has given me a piece of my past back that I am not afraid to welcome in and I am truly thankful for that. So here’s to turning 21 and having the summer of my life with a very close childhood friend on the beautiful Mackinac Island.