We are officially three weeks away from the opening of 1855 Marketplace and two weeks away from Green and White Days. I am quickly learning that the work-life balance is a difficult one. As it is my last summer, fun is limited in the time I have to do work and school balanced social life. I am so excited for this semester though because even though it will be super hectic, I know it will all be worth it. As Green and White days are closet, that means my hours for that week will be 63.5 hours and I do not know how I actually feel about that. I guess we’ll see how my post goes in two weeks…
With 1855 being three weeks away, testing is almost completely over as we just had Boar’s Head Sandwiches made today to see what would be showcased within the market. It is amazing to see the different products come to life with Boar’s Head. They have so many different types of meats and cheeses. We are using local Breadsmith bread which is awesome to showcase those items as well. I am super nervous with the opening because they have pushed back the training for those marketplace employees and construction is STILL underway. This means training will be going on as the opening happens which blows my mind. Along with that training, Corporate training for Sparty’s Commissary and Food Truck is coming up in about a month and three people are leaving our operation by then. We are trying to limit training to about two days due to hectic activities occurring in the kitchen, but I guess the best way to learn is by doing it. I’m sure the team will jump right in, but hopefully things are done properly. Only way to learn is from the bottom and here I am.
I turned 21 yesterday. Woo. Being a light weight I told myself three drinks… Three became eight at the end of the night. I did the unbearable and wish it didn’t happen. I really hope it didn’t, but the truth is I blacked out from 1-5am. So I was taken advantage of. The boy I like wasn’t able to come over to Mackinac island for the night as he lives in the city. His best friend/ roommate did. I woke up spooning him uncomfortably close. Of course I woke up to period cramps, stomachache, and throwing up. I am still unsure how/ why I made out with him. I ruined a good friendship and a chance at something, if anything with my crush. Go me. I’m ashamed that happened, but more frustrated that he knew I liked his roommate and knew I was wasted and let me do that. For him to think it meant anything hurts me when he knew the truth. He said I led him on, but is that the truth?
Blessed by two people that have already made my summer worth it. Blessed to have another off day that was the same as Trenton’s, but happy to have met such a kind heart like Brandon. Tells you straight up on his views and couldn’t be more enjoyable to be around. I cannot wait to be able to celebrate being 21 with these two. So here’s to living life to the fullest.
I just want to be loved. I just want to go to bed at night knowing that there is someone out there that I make truly happy. Someone to look forward to spending my life with and more. I deserve that. I was robbed from that by being verbally abused and didn’t know what love actually feels like and now I know, it’s not what I thought it was.
While starting to read Anthony Bourdain’s book, Kitchen Confidential, I have started to fully understand what I want to do in my life. I do want to go to culinary school, I do want to possibly open my own restaurant, I do want to make a statement, and one day I do want to write my own book. Cliché right? I want to save the money I make here waitressing and work on having that to pay for my culinary school. Of course, I believe I shall not go to culinary school right after I finish up at Michigan State, but I will when I fully have enough to say, I am financially ready… I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but I shall try. I expect to go to culinary school in around 4 years. Within that time I will finish up in school and be done with my bachelors by Dec 2017. Upon graduation, I will look into waitressing within a seasonal job, then possibly come back to Mackinac for one last final season. At that point, assuming it’d be my third season, I would soon throw in the flag after it’s over and make my way into being a line cook somewhere else for the time being. When I feel I am ready, I will head to culinary school near where I am and pursue an associates in culinary.
I’ve never understood why I am so sensitive to things when they happen to me over and over again. Like why am I surprised that the guy I once liked turned into an asshole, or the thought that when someone says they changed, but in reality they didn’t. Why does that surprise me every time. The fact that usually I fall for jackasses, or the fact the guys that usually like me are extremely weird, but honestly very genuine people. Why do I fall for false promises every damn time. I know that things probably won’t follow through with the way I am hoping, but that doesn’t change the fact I still do get my hopes up… Every. Damn. Time.
But here I am, smiling the pain away, acting like it’s no big deal and moving on to the next thing that gets me through the day.
Fine dining is no joke. The little things matter in service and that’s the worst part. At this point of my life I don’t give a fuck about want to pursue fine dining and if I do, I want a very chill, moderately fun, controlled environment. Tonight was definitely the breaking point for what I want to do in my life and fine dining is no longer one of them. As I was beaten down and broken after my lunch shift of serving, God gave me a great experience and proved that I am good enough for things by rewarding me with $100 on a $240 bill. Thank you to the lovely couple that made me feel that I am good enough and thank you God for showing me I am worth it